


The day I stopped playing around with the Dib

by Chocolatechipcookie22



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29880888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocolatechipcookie22/pseuds/Chocolatechipcookie22
Summary: The Tallest call Zim because they need his assistance concerning a new threat. Meanwhile, Zim finally kidnaps Dib and intends to transform him into a loyal slave.
Relationships: Dib & Gaz (Invader Zim), Dib & Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

Dib-thing has become increasingly annoying as of late, like... I mean, eh…..even more annoying than usual. Following the incredible Zim around like he was his shadow, making pitiful, repeated insinuations about Zim ending up on an operating table with gruesome details that make even Zim's spooch uneasy. And the worst, tugging on Zim's sensitive leeku, that smeet-menace has gone too far!

Ah, the Dib, Zim's pathetic, most resilient enemy. How Zim hated that such a fragile, insignificant body manages to thwart him at every point (That fishbone of a boy managing to stand up to a full trained irken invader, to the irken elite no less…), how Zim hated him with a burning passion of a thousand suns, how Zim longed to hear his cries of surrender and mercy.

And yet, the Dib… behind the ordinary exterior hid a mind the likes that can compete even with legendary irken scientists; the Dib, whose insatiable thirst for knowledge was only second best to his determination; the Dib, who was the only one who can appreciate the genius of Zim.

If only there was a way to convert his little pest of an enemy to his side, to tear the smeet apart only to rise from the ashes like a fledgling phoenix, to rise for Zim. If only…

Incoming transmission from the Massive:

"Hello, Zim!" Tallest Purple said, his expression like he swallowed a sour lemon rather than a full pack of donuts. "How are you holding up?"

"Let's cut to the chase, Pur" said Tallest Red exasperated "Zim, we need you to help us fight a new enemy on planet ZYTKA. Our defenses have not been quite holding up , despite the new alien power, against this foreign inferior, with a penchant for extreme ruthlessness even against his own kin…"

"Yeah, he's even crazier than your defective robot!" Interjected Purple.

"Quiet!" Red told him "You are to return to your home planet immediately soldier and…"

"Blow them up!" Purple shouted, "like only you can"

"But, my Tallest" Zim started saying"travel from Earth to Irk even at superspeed would take months to…"

"Do not worry Zim, our fresh alien power can stall them enough for you to arrive precisely on time" Red told him,.

"If Zim may ask, my Tallest, what does this fresh alien power consists of?"

"Why the oppressed slave-meets previously kept in isolation Zim" Purple chortled "A few kind pats on their head here, a few morsels of nourishment there, suddenly they are more loyal than our most loyal."

Zim started to cackle darkly: "Most brilliant my Tallest"

After a few tense seconds, Red said:"Make us proud Zim" The, or else, was left unspoken.

"The transmission ended", the computer informed him, in his bored voice.

"Of course", said Zim, his voice echoing eerily in the darkness "Why had I not thought of this before, what better way to break a smeet than to separate him, than to employ his own needs for companionship against him, what better way than what the dirt humans are calling: Stockholm Syndrome? Ah, Dib, we are done playing games little smeet"

Later, the next day, at the membrane household:

"And this is the day i finally catch that alien-menace Gaz! Then that alien won't be able to threaten a single human and the world shall see me for who I am, Dib Membrane, paranormal investigator!"

"Whatever!" Gaz said in a lackluster manner.

"You support me don't you Gaz, you don't think i am getting in over my head, do you?"

"Your voice is stupid, and hurry up we need to go to skool."

'At least she did not say my head is so big', Dib mused with a small smile on his face.

At skool:

"Hello Dib!" Zim cooed from behind Dib freaking him out because of the dulcet, venom-less tone of his voice.

"Zim! What are you planning Space-boy? Don't think i won't stop you! Whatever it is i will..."

"Wouldn't you like to know, little filth-boy", Zim declared secretively.

'How weird. Zim seems more friendly than usual, for Zim that is' Dib thought 'His mask won't fool me...'

"S-see you in class, space-boy" Dib stuttered after hurrying to class all too eager to get away from the alien.

After four uneventful hours of listening to Miss Bitters drone on and on about our impending doom, the class finally ended for the day. All this time Zim sat near Dib, ignoring him.

Something in his gut told Dib to run so he did, all the way to the park, only to clear his mind he said to himself.

Just when Dib relaxed a little, thinking that bug-eyed monster was only bluffing about actually having a plan a sinister voice was heard from his left: "your choice little human, the easy way or the hard way"

Dib shouted "The hard way.!"

As Dib rushed towards Zim with his bare fist and a martial arts maneuver he learned on the internet he is suddenly picked up by Zim's robotic legs and tossed away. Dib landed quite painfully on his bottom., his head hitting a nearby tree. Just when he is struggling to get up Zim is on him, tugging painfully at his scythe-like hair. Dib let out a shout of pain: aaaaah!.

Zim laughed then twisted one of Dib's arms behind his back. Dib felt red-hot agony shot through him as Zim dislocated his arm but that in no way deterred him. He knew he has a recipient of water hidden in his trench coat as he never leaves home without it. As Zim busied himself monologuing about Dib's pitiful human body and about his incredulity that suck a weak, defenseless child turned out to be so much trouble for him, Dib takes advantage of the situation and in a flash, he pulls the small jar from his pocket get rid of the stopper with his teeth than he dumps the water into Zim's eyes.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Zim shrieked in pain.

"That's what you get from underestimating me Zim", said Dib but suddenly Zim stopped screaming and started laughing then softly said: "foolish earth-child, I was only pretending"

"What?!" screamed Dib

Zim leaped to his feet more nimble than a panther than said:" Do you really think, earth-stink that I would come to this fight unprepared when this fight is the culmination of Zim's well-deserved victory over the Dib? "Zim snorted "No, little Dib i covered myself in protective paste-goo before coming to skool. Too bad nothing shall protect you from the wrath of Zim!"

Dib didn't like to admit this to himself but he started to worry a little.

'Maybe if I used the smoke pellet I made while Zim isn't looking, I coud recuperate and then...'

"Come towards Zim ", Zim cooed "The dirt-boy will not be hurt anymore"

Dib shook his head then said : Never.

But Zim rushed towards him, slapped him on the cheek. Dib yelped then felt something soft and white on his nose.

No! Chloroform!

Zim started laughing maniacally and slowly Dib lost consciousness.

"Wakey-wakey Dib," said an annoying, persistent voice "Dib-human, don't ignore Zim! Dib! Dib! Dib! Dib! D~ib! DIB!"

"Uhhh", a soft groan could be heard.

"Finally the dirt-child is waking up...How are you Dib?"

"Still sore and my arm hurts", Dib said taken aback by such a normal question coming from Zim "Wait a second, Zim! You did this to me, you, you vile space monster!"

"Foolish dirt-boy, compliments will get you nowhere. Not that you are able to get anywhere on your own either" Zim said, pointing a finger to the hard, steel manacles chaining Dib and laughing maniacally at Dib's situation.

"Laugh, you tyrant insect but i am going to get out, and when i do you'll see..."

"Shhhh," said Zim putting a gloved finger to Dib's lips "Don't you see, little Dib, I hold all the cards as the earth saying goes. You are my prisoner and irken law dictates i do whatever i want with you"

Dib shivers.

"I could destroy you" Zim murmured tracing a finger down Dib's cheek "but that would be such a waste of ...potential."

"What do you want with me?" Dib asked in a small voice.

"Ah, nothing much but your complete and utter obedience, earth-stink"

"My what? That won't happen in a thousand years Zim."

"A thousand years, such a short amount for Zim" Zim informed him, hissing like a feline and stepping up menacingly than looking like the cat who just ate the canary: "But what will you do little Dib, I am all that you have now. You rely on ZIM for your every pitiful need. Come tomorrow we will be too far away for any rebellious little acts of yours, either way, stooopid child"

"Far away?"

"Yes! The magnanimous Zim has decided to grant your wish for space-exploration little Dib, however, it would be a rather, ha, permanent excursion"

"No way, you can't just take me away from my home, i won't let you. People with notice i am gone Yeah, Gaz will notice, she will stop you or dad, and than you'll be on an operating table where you belong Zim!"

"Foolish little human, Zim cannot be stopped that easily. Zim being bested, and by whom, the sister-unit who insults and injures the Dib or perhaps by the parental-unit who barely acknowledges Dib-thing's existence?"

"Stop, stop!" Dib yelled, his eyes starting to water.

"They do not care about the Dib, they do not cherish the Dib therefore they do not deserve the Dib"

"Please stop, Zim!"

"This time, Zim shall stop. Zim has brought you snacks dirt-boy, Zim knows Dib hasn't eaten in over 8 hours ... perhaps this delicious glazed donuts will make the Dib more...cooperative?"

"I'd rather starve than eat anything my captor brings me Zim, I'm not stupid" A resounding smack could be heard and Dib clutched his red-printed cheek.

"If the foolish earth-smeet wants to starve, Zim shall let him starve"

Zim looked grimm and closed the door to the cage Dib was kept in. Suddenly Dib was enshrouded in darkness until..."Hello, you!"

"Gir! Can you get me out of here? " Gir stands up intimidatingly, eyes red.

"Negative, master said to guard the intruder!" then his eyes turn blue "Wanna play with me? AND PIGGY?!"

"Gir I want to play with you but i need the key to open the manacles first. Gir, can you get it?"

"Uh, uh?" Gir looked undecided.

"We can bring piggy and watch the scary monkey show"

"Okaay!" Gir fried the manacles with a laser then two of the cage bars the same way.

'Sweet freedom', Dib thought, "But now what? If i go to his secret base i can call Gaz and ask her for help. Good thing i memorized the location. See Gaz watching my enemy non-stop has finally paid up"

"And where do you think you're going little Dib?" Zim asked while hitting the human in a sensitive spot on his head that knocked him out. Before losing consciousness Dib heard Zim shouting angrily at his robot. Poor Gir, though Dib.  
It was near a riveting meadow where rivers of milk flow freely and as his fingers gingerly scoop up the delicacy, honey envelops his senses. The world was a prism of colored rainbows with butterflies to enchant even the sourest of fellows, brown-red trees with exotic, unearthly fruits were waiting patiently for someone to taste their goods. Even further and chubby cherubs were singing a mellifluous ode, the beautiful word started blurring...

Dib opened his eyes, what graces them made his face turn white. A vast ebony space, mixed with beautiful specks of color, could he be...?

"Hello, Dib-thing" a voice was heard from behind Dib startling him enough to make him yelp.

"Zim thought the Dib-smeet would never wake..."

'He was definitely not in heaven, he was in hell and Zim was to be his tormentor', though Dib.

"Are you thirsty, Dib?"

Now that Zim mentioned his mouth did feel like sandpaper but Dib answered in a pathetic croak: no.

After 2 hours:

Zim enters the room;

'Did the Dib-child enjoy being obstinate? Now Zim will ask one more time, does the Dib-child desire any water?"

"Yes', Dib whispered

"Then the Dib-thing shall address Zim as...master"

"I'd rather eat dookie, Zim"

"That can be arranged, careful what you say. Zim shall return"

After 5 more hours :

"Zim shall ask one last time, pathetic, earth-child: Does this stoopid little earth monkey desire his earth beverage?"

"Yes", Dib said in a defeated voice

"Yes, what?" pushed Zim

"M-master"

"Yess!" hissed Zim, his serpentine tongue showing. Then he started grabbing Dib's soft cheeks and squeezing them while saying "such a good little smeet ". A few seconds later he handled him the water bottle. Dib gulped it all down.

Zim started laughing, a villainous, wicked cackle that echoed through the spaceship and reverberated into Dib's mind. How alike a scared lamb, Dib looked like at that moment. A child shaking with fright...

"Anything", Dib thought "Being stuck in detention with Miss Bitters for days, going to boring science meeting with dad, being used as Gaz's punching bag...anything to this horrible, doomy madness"

"Come, Dib-thing it's time you dine with your master", said Zim in a sing-song voice.

Dib being too weak to complain, wobbled on unsteady legs after Zim.

The food was...very sweet and oddly satisfying but that wasn't important right now. He had to stop Zim and get back to earth, no matter the price. It might be dangerous but he had to stop that alien-menace. What he wouldn't give right now for one of dad's pats on the head or for one of Gaz's rare approving nods. Maybe there were escape pods or maybe...

"Dib-thing are you listening?" Zim asked a bit irritated "Soon Zim shall make you swear obedience and loyalty to Zim and the Irken Empire, after that your training shall commence"

'...or maybe Zim just loves the sound of his voice too much', Dib thought and tried to stifle a laugh.

"Whatever do you find funny, revolting little worm?" Zim said bitterly "serving the Empire, becoming useful for once in your life, Zim trying to save you, ungrateful dirt-child, from becoming an experiment for the irken scientists...?"

"Save me?" Dib asked.

"Zim has claimed you as his slave, and as such you are exempt from the suffering, oh the terrible suffering that prisoners are usually going through" Zim explained gleefully.

"Yeah, I only have to put up with your sick and twisted games, thanks Zim, it's a piece of cake!" cried Dib sardonically.

"The Dib-smeet is most welcome", answered Zim unperturbed.

Dib rolled his eyes and Zim remarked "keep rolling your visual bulbs Dib-smeet, maybe you'll find a brain-meet there"

Dib glared murderously at Zim, his eyes started glistering, his hands trembling and heart beating erratically...

Incoming transmission from the Tallest, Zim's bored computer said.

"Zim," Tallest Red said "it's good to see you actually listened and took a ship back home"

"Oh, my tallest, I live only to serve," Zim said with a fawning attitude.

"Hi Zim", Tallest Purple could be heard from the transmission "this is important... bring us more earth donuts Zim, the glazed kind"

"How can you think of eating at a time like this, Pur?" Red asked at the end of his rope.

"There is nothing wrong with keeping our strength...hey! Who is that?" Purple asked finally noticing Dib who looked like he wanted to hide under the table out of embarrassment.

"His big head looks familiar", murmured Tallest Red while scratching his chin.

"My head's not big", grumbled Dib.

"My tallest he is...," Zim started to say

"Wait a minute", interjected Purple "isn't he the little alien smeet that you said destroyed your "brilliant" plans and was trying to expose you?"

"Why yes, my Tallest but..." Zim tried to add something.

"We understand Zim", said Purple slyly. "Every invader needs a loyal little alien to fight by his side" he cooed

"I am not a little alien, and I do not like Zim, in fact, I hate him, I would never help him do anything alien-scums!" Dib shouted. Zim looked mortified.

"Might want to put a leash on that one Zim", tallest Red announced, "it's obviously not house trained"

"Will do, my Tallest!" Zim commented before bowing down.

"Anyway, we have sent you information regarding your new enemy in a file on your computer, Make sure to download it straight to your pack" Red stated.

Zim saluted.

"We eagerly await your carnage Zim", the tallest said together with a nasty grin on their faces.

"I shall make you proud, my Tallest, have no doubt", Zim beamed.

Transmission ended

A slap echoed through the room and Dib was cradling his stinging cheek.

"Dib-fool you could have been sent to death!" Zim roared angrily.

"I want home Zim, take me home!" Dib wailed childishly.

"Does the pathetic earth-stink not know, we are shmilion kilometers away from the Dib's home planet", Zim said victoriously.

Dib looked defeated, to the vastness of space reflected on the glass.

Dib has had enough of Zim's psychological torment and physical mistreatment. If it continues, Dib might actually become crazy. He might be a pre-teen boy but he was also a warrior and the time for complacency has long since left the building. It was time for a cunning and most daring plan, the kind of plan that would make Gaz and dad proud of him, so obviously it has to contain science, sheer bull-headedness, and a tiny amount of luck. The wheels in Dib's mind started turning and for the first time since his doomed capture, he started smiling, although it looked more like a mischievous grin.

In order for him to stop being more complacent he would have to...be more complacent, or better yet to appear helpless, resigned and to butter Zim up with "respect" and compliments (but not too much so that he would appear suspicious and would ask where his fighting spirit went). He had to walk a fine line. Over time Zim might trust him enough, to not accompany him wherever he went, to not lock his room at night, to give him more food and water he might preserve later for his escape. First, Zim was watching him 24/7, reluctantly allowing him to get to the bathroom on his own but as time went by, that little evil insect allowed him more freedom. He had to set his plan into motion. The first time he tried to sneak into the main computer room, Zim was there so he had to quietly sneak back, but the fifth time he was strangely absent and so Dib went on his way, adrenaline surging through his veins, to the computer room, or as Dib dubbed it: Zim's moody A. I . who puts up with his control issues.

"Ah, excuse me", Dib said, "Zim's A. I. do you know if Zim might be returning?"

"Negative, master is working on an important mission and asked not to be disturbed unless the ship gets attacked"

"Perfect", Dib said. "Umm, are there any escape pods?"

"No", the computer answered.

"Can you help me build one?"

"Urgh, must I?" the computer A.I. said in a whiny voice.

"Pleaaase", Dib stressed out the word.

"Fine", said the A.I, accepting his request then showing him some blueprints and some spare metal parts.

A glowing yellow-green tube, Dib has seen this before, Zim bragged about it being indestructible and used as a sort of fuel to power the ship. He could use it as a generator and that irken button worked like a flashlight when pressed, he might need it just in case...

"Can you walk me through the building process? And... help me hide the evidence?" Dib asked, hopeful.

"Only this time," the A.I. responded, indifferent to the shameless betrayal he was committing.

Dib was always a dedicated scholar and so, little by little, the escape pod was build and was dubbed 'Vampire Piggy Hunter' after Gaz's favourite Game Slave character. After that Dib decided on the big day he was going to make his escape.

It was an usual morning that consisted of tuning out Zim's gloating, trying to eat breakfast and being slightly cheered up by Gir's insane antics. He would miss the little robot.

"The-earth feline got your tongue, Dib-stink?" Zim asked "Perhaps you have found sense end ceased any horrible escape plans that Zim is sure are uh...horrible, so don't bother."

"Don't be so sure Zi-Master", Dib spat, "I have beat you once and I will do it again"

"But that's what the Dib-thing has been saying for months", Zim replied amused.

Tonight, he was going to escape tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

Dib did it, he snuck out right past Zim. He felt like a refugee, escaping the iron fist of Zim, he felt like a rainbow-colored, breath-taking lepidopteran; somehow flying away from the raging flames that represented Zim. He couldn't believe he did it and it only took him 3 months. He was brazenly flying around the universe, admiring the stunning stars and the enshrouded night when suddenly he encountered an asteroid belt. It was extremely difficult to dodge all the asteroids. One inconspicuous asteroid hit him on the left side of the escape pod. Unfortunately, Dib lost control of the machine and it crashed on a nearby planet. Fortunately, Dib only suffered minor injuries.

It's okay, Dib reassured himself. I may be on a foreign planet with no income and barely any resources, but at least Zim isn't here to mock me. Anything is better than being the lizard's prisoner. Dib looked around him, the planet looked...actually fun and hospitable. There were carnival lights everywhere and alien confetti decorated the strange, wavy trees. Dib entered inside a gargantuan red fort with a strange logo on his center. That logo seemed familiar... Dib entered the fort, inside it looked like an ancient colosseum (which made Dib uneasy) that strangely had modern technology all around him: smoke machines, lasers, something that looked like a place where people were making video calls...wait a second!

"Excuse me", Dib asked "Is using the machine free?"

"The first call is free, small little alien" said a blue bat-like creature with three eyes "Our transmission-panel can allow vocal messages to be sent to oven 15000 shmilion planets"

'Great!', Dib reasoned. Maybe he could call Gaz and tell her anything and that he missed her( dad would be too busy to answer)

'In for a penny, in for a pound', he thought and formed the Gaz's mobile phone number.

A blank image and then: "Dib!" Gaz seemed surprised "Where have you been, idiot, you got us all worried, dad called the police?!"

Gaz, I, Dib started to say but was interrupted.

"Did you know what I had to go through, I had to get pizza", she screeched," on my own. And buy my own batteries", Gaz said looking one step away from murdering Dib.

"It's not my fault, Zim kidnapped me but I escaped!", he shouted pumping his fist " He...hehe...hehe"

"But...?" Gaz started to say

"But I got stranded on a foreign planet", Dib answered her, face full of melancholy.

"Only you, Dib, only you...," Gaz said shaking her head.

"Tell dad that I might be late for our annual family dinner and take care of yourself and Gaz I miss you".

"I miss you too... whiner"

Then the image started to get blurry and died out.

"What!", Dib said "I need to call her back, I haven't told her anything yet"

"Of course, little alien, but first 5000 shmilion mooneys"

"What! I don't know how much money that is but even I know that's highway robbery"

The atmosphere started to change, soothing yet horror-themed music started to play around, aliens all ages were parting, eating delicious food, and having a general good time, like at that carnival dad took him and Gaz when they were very little and mom was still around. Dib only had blurry memories of it. People rounded up in order to get a ticket. Not wanting to appear strange, Dib did as well. Suddenly a light fell on Dib and a voice said: This night the inferior life form that will face the ferocious beast of Larcozia is...what is your name son?

"Uh, Dib?"

"...Is Dib!" the announcer said cheerfully

So this wasn't just a carnival, it was a colosseum where people watched other people be torn to shreds for fun. And that logo, he had seen it on Zim's ship, these people must be enslaved by the irkens. Only the irkens would be blood-thirsty enough for this, Dib thought dryly.

The ferocious beast had the head of a human, the body of a lion, and a tail with spikes that were most likey poisonous, wait a minute, he remembers this from Mrs. Bitter's class about Mythological creatures and the impending doom they waged on humanity!. This was a manticore, they were real.

"Wow", Dib said fascinated and afraid.

On Zim's ship:

"Rise and shine Dib-beast your master has a request ...you", Zim said perplexed. After trying to find him for half an hour Zim lost control of himself: "Ghaa! That filthy little dirt monkey, he shall pay, Zim shall find him and punish him severely."

"Hellllo, master!" Gir's cheerful voice could be heard through the cacophony of Zim's screams.

"Gir, did you know about the Dib-beast's escape plan?" Zim asks

"Oh, yeah...," Girl tells him.

"Then why didn't you tell me Gir?!"

"I was playing with piggy!" Gir answered innocently.

After despairing some more Zim asked the computer about Dib, and after finding out the truth...

"Betrayal, you scrap of metal I shall have you exterminated than fed to Gir!"

Zim didn't like to admit it but it was quite ingenious for someone's Dib age to construct an escape pod even with blueprints. And he had taken the tracking device, Zim observed with a grin. The foolish Dib-smeet must have thought it was a nice trinket. Oh, Dib, your short-lived freedom will come to an end.

Dib is basking his eyes upon one of the most mythological creatures he's ever met. Alright, the only mythological creature ( Does bigfeet count?). Its bronze legs were shining in the flashing lights, its spiked tale a wonder that would make one apprehensive, the one humane feature, the head transformed this into a monster worthy of appearing on Mysterious Mysteries and gave a thrilling yet horror element to this creature. It looked majestic and... hungry. Like he has been starved for days and Dib was godsent, his only purpose there to quench his hunger. Oh, who was he kidding, he looked like Gir when he was about to eat pudding (that's even worse!).

'Okay Dib, focus, remember Mes Bitter's nihilistic yet helpful lessons. What are manticore's weaknesses?' he thought but could only come up with not being able to attack elephants and that its tail can be crushed as a baby ..so unless he can find a pachyderm or a time machine, he was doomed.

"Ow!" Someone pushed him into the arena!

"Jerk," he said. The manticore was circling the boy, he feinted running to the left when he instead ran to the right and by some miracle, the creature was fooled but, it was faster than him and catching up rapidly. He somersaulted into the air several times and ended on one free chair.

'Thanks, dad for telling me to go to gymnastics with Gaz' Dib thought. After that, he ran over people's heads while they were trying to pull him down by his legs and kicked the door with a roundhouse kick. Funny what being full of adrenaline can do to you. People were screaming at him to get back or they will be next. He felt a little bad for them but not bad enough to stop running. The manticore, it was following him...

He was running out of breath, a single goal in mind: to get back to the escape pod and hope it's still functional. Suddenly it leaped on him and tried to sink its teeth into his cheek. He panicked and kicked it, it looked stunned at him, then angry... the beast was leaning on him, crushing his chest and he was holding its head back not to eat him. The horrible alien crowd had come out of the tents to watch the boy struggle, all a show in their sick, twisted minds.

'If only he had a weapon or someone on his side' the child thought.

Just when he thought he was about to be manticore dinner a pack leg stabbed the beast into his back and near its heart. It dropped dead. It was Zim.

'Just great. I take back my words. Being eaten alive by a manticore beats being Zim's slave any day. And he was about to monologue, joy' Dib contemplated.

"Looks like you got yourself in quite the predicament, Dib-fool, if it weren't for Zim's mercy you would have been that larcozian beasts meal. In gratitude you shall, bow to your knees for Zim, yes bow now!"

'No way Zim!"

"Quiet! The Dib-smeet shall answer one question for Zim. Why did the Dib-beast want to escape Zim's care, after all that Zim has done for you?"

"After what ?!" he sputtered "You were abusing me Zim!"

"You lie! Zim was only toughening up the Dib and making him more obedient, in the Dib's interest only."

"I don't buy your bullshit Zim. How did you even get here so fast?"

"Forgetful Dib! Do you not remember taking the circular tracking device? Zim merely followed it and used his teleporter", he said shaking his head as if Dib were stupid.

"That is not important now", Zim added and his voice changed "Zim shall punish you disobedient slave-child" then he promptly teleported us on the ship.

The boy tried to run, but Zim caught him, slapped me twice then when he thought to defend himself, the alien caught his wrists together and squeezed.

"You will show respect to your superiors, Dib-stupid! You will obey Zim!"

"You can kiss your obedience goodbye lizard lips, I'd rather die!" He yelled then he was shoved to the wall, one of Zim's pack legs at his throat.

"Don't tempt me, Dib-smeet. You cost Zim precious time he could have spent going to the Tallests. Zim didn't have to save little Dib, Zim is the only one who cares'

"You lie!" Dib shot back at him, denying his poisonous words.

Just then a voice said: Incoming transmission from the Tallest.

"Are we interrupting something?" Purple asked

"Of course not, my Tallest," Zim said and let Dib go.

"Zim we are expecting your plans regarding Kragnor"

"Who's Kragnor?" Dib asked

"Why should we tell you?" Purple inquired.

"Humor him Pur," Red said nonchalantly.

"Fine. Little big-headed monkey", Tallest Purple said, "Kragnor is undoubtedly our new worst enemy. He is smart, calculating, strong enough to take down dozens of irkens by himself alone...kind of like your Hannibal character"

"They know about Hannibal?" Dib thought in wonder.

"And although he may be tough, he does not compare to the entire irken Armada. He will fall like anyone else, Tallest Red added with an air of superiority and so sure of himself. If only he didn't have Vort and Meekrob on his side. And to think we used to enslave Vort. That pile of dookie freed that blasted planet and now the foolish vortians worship him like a God"

"Yeah, they should be worshiping us instead," Purple adds.

"Well, Zim, the plans?" Red ask.

"Yes, my Talles, Zim says, Zim believes we should make a pact with Pluto for their armament then send irkens overseas ( the tallest gasp), he would never expect that my tallest! After that, we make an alliance with planet Tulie and when they least expect it, make their leader a puppet king for our plans so much so that the people see it is really the empire that is ruling them but to make them unable to rebel as Tulie are known for their loyalty to their leader through thick and thin and it will also please the aristocratic governors of Tulie who if bribed correctly could choose us over Kragnor, and could silence any rebellious masses and make him believe that everything is alright and that the puppet king is still devoted to him"

"Why would that work?" Dib asked aloud.

"Because Tulie is the planet with the most resources and incidentally the main resource planet for both meekrob and Vort", Zim says looking bored.

"Cunning, Zim cunning. We are pleased," Tallest Red said.

"Yeah, keep it up, and don't forget to blow Kragnor's ass up", tallest purple said.

After they wave and Zim salutes, the transmission ends.

After the transmission ended hell started, also called Zim's punishment. Zim would make Dib clean the ship for hours on end to the point he couldn't feel his feet, he glared at Dib all the time, he would feed him less food than before and only reluctantly gave him just as much water, after he'd begged.

'I hate that alien-jerk. At least he wasn't beating me anymore...' Dib thought.

They made it to Irk, Zim's home planet. These past few months Zim has been cold towards Dib but now, when he sees his home planet his dark, solemn mask cracks, and Dib can only detect vibrant happiness. Of course, he knows it's not directed at him but it's hilarious how much Zim resembled Gir at that moment.

Irk looked from outside like a giant, red orb with purple rings around it.

'Gaz would have liked the design', though Dib nostalgically.

After they landed he had a better chance to inspect anything. The planet was as far as he could tell a mega-city, no tree, or mountains in sight. Skyscrapers could be seen anywhere and there were many facilities, maybe millions...

Everything about this planet screamed "advanced technology", his dad would have loved it, but he can't stomach it.

'So this is where space-boy grew up, what could be in this place that shaped the alien into the monster he is today, or was he always like this...?'

As he exited the ship Zim grabbed his collar and shook him:

"Dib-stink better be on his best behavior, tonight we're meeting the Tallests and the armada" Zim yelled.

"Sheesh, Zim when had i been bad behaved?" Dib asked jokingly, thoroughly enjoying the look on Zim's face.

"Quit it! Respect Zim!"

"Don't i get dog biscuits first?"

"The Dib is not a dog', Zim informed him.

"But you treat me like one space-boy so maybe pavlovian conditioning would be for the best now"

"Dib-stoopid, The incredible Zim does not need any Pavlo to make his slave obey!"

"Whatever Zim", Dib tells him.

"Note important facts, earth-smeet. The almighty, amazing irken empire is the most enlightened in all galaxies. Our citizens are cloned in hatching facilities called smeetteries where two minutes after the smeet is hatched he is given a pack then he gets activated by a most glorious electroshock ( Dib screwed his face). The pack contains the name of the smeet, his personality, and the entire irken knowledge. Then, for the next ten years the irken goes through numerous trials as he trains on the surface of Irk in combat and warfare tactics, espionage, and infiltration, Zim said smiling. Is it any wonder, earth-stink why your pitiful little dirt-ball can't compare, can't even scratch the surface?"

"Hey, we may not all be geniuses Zim but that does not mean you can deem us unworthy..."

"But that is exactly it, annoying earth-monkey, your pitiful race is in the informational age while our empire is hundreds of years ahead in the enlightment age...", Zim sayd mysteriously.

"I don't see anything enlightening in a race of bug tyrants that don't know anything else than destroying lives"

"I should smack you for your insolence, but Zim feels much too happy to be finally home", Zim said between cackles "Come Dib-slave, you must be hungry..."

After eating a meal consisting of extremely sweet green alien chips and a can of soda while Zim munched happily on cotton candy Zim said out of the blue...

"Tyrants, it was rumored irkens were a peaceful species once upon a time..".

"What?" Dib asked him but Zim was as mute as a stone.

Finally, they met with the Tall Jerks and they both had matching looks of superiority on their faces like Dib was a worm that dared to stand in their presence. Zim bowed down to the ground in respect and shoved the boy to the ground with him. Through their whole conversation, they were ignoring Dib as if he were invisible.

"We're glad you made it, Zim. We have a lot of plans to make, but first a last welcoming feast" Red said

"Woohoo, a feast!" Purple shouted acting like a six-year-old.

"I would be most honored, my Tallests, but what about Zim's slave? Is Zim allowed to bring him along?"

Tallest Red gave a long-suffering sigh "He's your slave Zim, you decide for him"

Zim smiled sharply " Of course my Tallest"

After he bowed he ordered Dib to come with him. The boy slept on the floor of a spacious room with Zim, not wanting to sleep in the same bed as his kidnapper, it would be too strange, to familial of them...

Seeing Dib shivering, Zim covered him with a blanket then threw a pillow at his head. Maybe he was capable of small mercies after all...

A couple of hours later, the feast was about to commence.

"Stay close to Zim, Dib thing, and don't talk to anybody", Zim said and put small chains on his hands with the irken logo as a symbol of ownership.

Irkens all ages and heights were gathered around different tables where different-looking aliens with irken logoes were serving them food. The tallest stood on a sort of podium and their table was golden looking. As they entered the building Zim pointed at different irkens: that is invader Florbee she was second-best in the academy, after Zim of course( he said and Dib snorted), the irken standing next to her is pathetic Larb, he almost didn't pass the academy, he told me nastily. Out there is Skoodge, an old associate of Zim's . Stay put and do not cause trouble, earth-larva.

As Zim left him, invader Larb came up to him and asked him to refill his glass of juice.

"No-way alien scum i am no one's maid. Now shoo, go away" Dib told him while doing shooing gestures.

"Tough words for someone in chains" Larb snapped at him

Dib snapped right back "Tough words for someone who almost didn't pass the Academy" ( it was juvenile, he know but it was all he had to defend himself now)

Larb looked dead serious "What did you just say to me?", he asked while his pack legs made Dib rise up the ground. Just when he was about to let out a series of expletives, Zim intervened.

"Larb, you shall put my smeet-slave down, or perhaps you want to take it to the Tallests and see which side they'll choose"

Larb grudgingly let him go before having the last word "Careful Zim the Tallest are only acting nice to you because they need you for now, we know they don't actually respect you don't we, defective?"

After he left Dib asked Zim what did he mean but Zim told him in a hushed voice, "Quiet, slave"

After the fight, they were standing at the table with the Tall Jerks, them and Zim talking in irkeneze so that Dib wouldn't understand anything. It was almost funny how petty they were, anyway, he kind of figured out it had something to do with the war, with Kragnor. After their conversation ended Dib asked Zim "Was it really necessary to act all secretive, space-boy?"

"Of course earth-stink, Zim isn't sure you won't betray him to Kragnor when the time comes," he told me:

"Why wouldn't I do that?" Dib asked him challengingly "He freed Vort from your tyrannical rule, he sounds like an okay guy"

"Ah but Dib, did you know that this "okay guy" (he said mockingly) slaughtered in cold blood dozens of irken smeets not yet encoded? Did you? Did you know that he tortured cleaning drones ( from the imperial ship) for information about The Tallest?"

Dib stared at Zim in horror, for once not having a comeback.


	3. Chapter 3

"Your training shall begin now, pitiful wormbaby," Zim told the Dib-thing who was too busy ignoring Zim's previous advice and acting nervous. 'Ugh, smeets'

"What, no initiation, Zim? I thought I had to prove myself worthy of your teachings first", the smeet said obviously pulling Zim's leg.

'No drinking slave's blood, no circumcision, no putting my hand into a glove with sewn red ants?" the Dib asked.

"Sometimes the smeet's imagination amazes even me the amazing Zim!"

"None of that foolishness wormbaby, you are a slave, not an irken invader. You will not have to be trained that harshly, but you will be trained."

"Why?", the impudent child asked Zim

"Because Zim says so now OBEY!"

"First, the Dib has to evade the tricky gelly of Zarconia (kind of like earth's sinking sand) by jumping on the metal platforms above, then the Dib has to avoid getting bitten by whip-like gooslah ( kind of like an eel but with a bite that can cause temporary paralyses) by answering two logic questions and after that, the Dib has to finally run 100 meters in order to push that purple button over there. All of that while being timed. Simple, no?" Zim asked expecting an affirmative nod of the head but instead he got teenage attitude.

"Oh, thanks Zim, that is soooo much easier", Dib said.

"This is protocol for irken slaves, Dib-thing."

"If this is what your slaves have to suffer through, i shudder to think how your invader training is..."

"Not feeling up to it, wormbaby?" Zim asked smugly.

"You wish, space-boy!" Dib answered.

The race just started. Dib stepped carefully on the first platform, his heart beating rapidly. While he was trying to calm himself down he heard Zim yell "Dib-loser" and that motivated him to jump to the next and to the next and so on until, he lost his footing. Before he plunged suddenly into the azure gelly Dib caught the desired platform with his hands, then pulled himself up. He has arrived to the second challenge, the logical part of the test, looks like it was going to be...riddles?

A cold, metallic voice enquired "The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I?"

"Footsteps?" Dib asked nervously.

"Correct", then it continued.

A food drone went to a carnival and a scientist said that if I can write your exact height on a piece of paper, you have to give me 5000 shmilion mooneys. If I can't write it than i have to give the same amount to you. The naive food drone agreed and the scientist wrote his exact height on a piece of paper. How did he do that?

Dib whispered his exact height, though for a second then said "he wrote your exact height on that piece of paper"

"Correct"

"Poor irkens have it, rich irkens need it, if you eat it you die. What am I?"

Dib answered confidently "nothing!"

"Correct!" Dib was so happy he starts a victory dance when a disapproving voice could be heard:

"Dib-stoopid you have to run!"

After hearing that( and coming to his senses) it seemed( to Dib) that he run off faster than Gaz for a Game Slave three discount. When he finished the run, out of breath and barely standing on his own he pushed the button with the irken logo on it. Before collapsing he saw Zim with a timer on his hand muttering "pitiful".

When Dib woke up Zim very like a Drill Sergent started to tell him why he lost so much time. He did very well with the riddles, surprisingly Zim said but he lost precious time with the first challenge because of his reluctance to jump and the last where according to Zim, he ran slower than an earth snail.

"But, do not fear earth-stink , you will do MUCH better. After all, master's here to help you", Zim said disgustingly sweet then caressed his cheek like an ugly parody of a mother soothing her baby.

Dib slapped his hand away and went to sleep with a single thought in his mind " I will prove to Zim that I can still be a worthy opponent( and get a better time score)".  
The following days, Dib tried to be faster, stronger, and complete the race with a good time score to prove to Zim that he was still a threat. Surprisingly, it worked. When he put his determination to it, Dib could achieve wonderful things. Zim seemed a little proud, well when he wasn't instructing the armada on his plan to take down Kragnor, those days he just seemed annoyed. But still, Zim did not respect him as much as when they were bitter enemies, Dib could sense that. So one day he decided, he was going to put an irken slave collar on his throat ( to not be immediately stabbed) and snuck up at an invader training. He succeeded.

Many things worked in his favor.

'It seems interesting but I bet Zim was exaggerating when he said how gruesome the training actually is. He was just feeding his inflated ego, most likely', Dib thought, a small smile appearing on his face...until he entered the gigantic exercise room.

It looked like a war zone. Many baby irkens were cradling their limbs where blood was oozing and the cuts seemed deep too. He could hear groans of pain and cries for mercy.

'Is this hell?' Dib wondered...After he passed a white line, suddenly a spiked bulldozer rolled after him. Dib let out a yelp then started running for his life, his heart beating erratically. After he managed to avoid it by the skin of his teeth by jumping on a platform, he was greeted with blazing fire from both his sides, If Dib weren't jumping faster than a rabbit he would have been burnt to a crisp. All the while this horrible mechanic voice kept screaming the same thing over and over again

"IRKEN SMEETS OF THE IRKEN EMPIRE. PROVE YOURSELVES WORTHY OR YOU WILL BE DEACTIVATED.! IRKEN SMEETS OF THE IRKEN EMPIRE..."

Strangely while some smeets cried in despair others laughed raucously, like the mere idea of them being a disappointment to the empire (enough to be terminated) was hilarious.

Suddenly Dib lost his footing and he was sinking fast in some green jelly.

"I am going to die," he thought desperately. Just when he was about to ask for help (while not really expecting any), a furious voice could be heard from around the controlling device on the highest platform." Enough!" the voice said while punching a series of buttons.

The voice was, unsurprisingly Zim's.

He looked pissed, he looked more pissed than that time he was stuck as bologna.

How did he find out?

"Thank you, smeet Scooter for informing me about my little slave getting...lost", Zim said teeth clenching.

"You're welcome High Commander Zim. Sir, you're a legend..."

"Yes, yes but Zim does not have time to chat. Zim has to punish his disobedient slave now..."

Dib has been through so much. He was forcibly taken from his family, slapped around, mocked, being fed little food for a while, and now nearly buried in slimy goo. He couldn't help it. He started crying. Immediately Zim's demeanor changed.

"Are you hurt?" he demanded.

"Why do you care?" Dib asked through hiccups.

"It is my duty as a master to think of the well-being of his slave..."

"I don't need a master Zim, I need a friend", Dib responded, his eyes red from crying.

Seeing as the child wouldn't stop crying, Zim did the thing he saw hyooman mothers do with their disgusting infants to stop their wailing...he hugged Dib and petted his hair while trying(and failing) to make assuring noises of shhhhh). Eventually, Dib's crying subsided before stopping entirely.

When Zim found out about the reason behind Dib's little escapade, he felt like hitting his head against a wall before he took Dib's cheeks into his hands, looked him straight in the eyes, and told him:

"You will always be my greatest opponent, Dib-smeet. Do not doubt Zim."

The words did make Dib feel a lot better...

Later that evening...

Skoodge and Zim were discussing something. Zim told him to fetch some snacks for them so Dib reluctantly agreed. When he returned he could hear from behind the door Zim's voice "Reckless, putting himself in danger..."

"Maybe but he's just a smeet, Zim", Skoodge said.

"We were not like that at Dib-things age, were we?" Zim challenged.

Dib opened the door...

"Hi, Dib!" Skoodge said joyfully as if he had not talked about Dib behind his back with Zim.

"FINALLY! Zim was STARVING!" Zim shouted dramatically.

The following morning

The Tallests told Zim that they had to follow through with his plan and go to planet Pluto to make a pact with the plutonians for their armament, specifically their naval ships... This was a tricky thing, specifically as the prince of the planet, who shared a name with the character who went down to hell, Dante, hated irkens with a passion( because irkens have tried to conquer Pluto before).

Don't worry, my Tallest, anyone can be bought, Zim said mischievously.

Before going on Zim's ship to Pluto, Dib was cornered by Skoodge who told him:

"Hello Dib, I...made you a holo ring. It is capable of making you look like an irken and it can help you blend in with the other irkens when Znm is not around, so nothing like the Larb incident happens again."

"Thanks, Skoodge. You're so much nicer than the other invaders", Dib chirped happily.

"Don't mention it, smeet. Anyway with your height, you ought to impress them..."

"What does height have to do with it?"

"Zim didn't tell you? Our entire hierarchy is governed by height."

"That's ...stupid. If that is so then why is Zim put in such a high position? He's one of the shortest alien bugs I've ever met..."

"Zim is special," Skoodge said with a smile.

After arriving on Pluto they went straight to business. Zim's was trying to negotiate with Dante ( who spoke fluent irken).

Dib found out that by pressing a button on the ring, he could understand and speak irken as well. This little gadget was a marvel...

"And why should we make any deals with the scum who tried to eliminate us so many times before?"

Do not play with Zim, Dante. You have the armament, we have the resources. Zim understands that the plutonians are short on kyrops ( an irken element, written just like krom) and that lack of it causes plutonians to waste away. Zim shall give it to you but remember you must not tell a word to Krognar from planet Zytka or our arrangement falls and you are left empty-handed ( the kyrops will stop coming). And to sweeten the deal, Zim will add a 100 year period where Irk will refrain from trying to invade Pluto. What do you say?

"I ...agree", said Dante reluctantly.

"We shall sign our contract in the morning", Zim said.

"Come Dib-smeet, we will sleep in one of the guest rooms."

On their way to the guest room, they were accosted by beautiful, blue-skinned plutonian women. With ebony hair and golden accessories on them, they were dressed in robes that looked exotic and they were dancing around them provocatively.

"DESIST, VIPERS!" Zim shouted "He is just a smeet"

After hearing that, the plutonians left.

"You didn't have to be so harsh on them, Zim" Dib said

"Naive Dib, plutonian women are known for their penchant for violence After their dance ends, they will immediately start mating and once the mating process is over they will sink their teeth into foreign alien's neck and drink their blood to the last drop. They remind Zim of your praying mantises."

Dib stared in horror at Zim.

They (and the armada) started sailing in their blue phantasmagorical ships equipped with the irken logo, of course. "Because why try to be inconspicuous?" Dib told Zim sarcastically.

Ths irken screeched, telling him it was part of their tradition, their battle-strategy was foolproof blah blah blah...Dib didn't buy it.

Ever since his "breakdown", Zim has been gentler with him like he was a baby chick about to hatch or a ticking bomb about to go off. Dib wasn't sure which...and he didn't know whether he liked it or not.

He asked Zim if he could help, because he was feeling bored and left out.

What followed was an hour of lectures about leaving foolish little earth monkeys to take the wheel as it would probably be a disaster waiting to happen. The boy told him that with Zim as the captain they would probably crash or and up in the belly of a whale.

"Do you know the intricacies of naval warfare, earth-monkey?"

"No."

"Then SHUT UP!" Zim ordered him.

"Why couldn't we just fly on our spaceship to planet Tulie?"

"This galaxy has a powerful magnetic field above water, that would impede us from crossing through, wormbaby. NOW STOP PESTERING THE AMAZING ZIM!"

And that was that.

The space ocean was beautiful, like a bonbon pearl, shining in all glory...After they passed the huge water body, that incidentally surrounded an unsearched before part of the cosmic Milky Way ( so close to home yet so far away) they reached Tulie.

Tulie was a beautiful planet. All flora and fauna, it reminded Dib of home. There were delicate flowers that reminded him of roses and species of butterflies that were rainbow-colored. Even the ground was beautiful with a golden sable-like color that sparkled in the light.

When they got there they met the crown king. He was, in a single word, a snob. Dressed in lavish velvety clothes, and wielding an emerald scepter encrusted with rubies, he took one look at them and said "Why are these common folk daring to step foot on our lands. Guard, shoo them away..."

Zim was quicker, with one pack leg to the heart he killed the poor royal guard on the spot than said "Your majesty, believe me we have good reason to be in this heavenly realm. We merely wish to give you our irken riches and loyalty in exchange for...in exchange for a small, permission to stay here, and bask into your glory, our majesty."

"Oh, good," the crown king said "Very well, I can't be bothered with you but talk to my governors, they shall make an agreement with you. Follow me", he said not even flinching when Zim stepped on the dead guard's body. I only felt...pity for the king and wished to warn him but I knew it wasn't the right time and even though I hated the irkens I didn't want innocent smeet's blood on my hands, were Zim's plan to fail and Kragnor to win because of me. I was undecided and confused. I just wanted home in my family's arms, away from this insanity. Zim and I entered the council room and Zim spoke to the governors...

They were shocked.

"And why exactly should we help you assassinate our own king and eradicate our agreements with Meekrob and Vort. We get protection from them after all?" they asked.

"Zim was hoping you would say that. One simple word: power. If you assassinate the crown prince and install a puppet king for Zim, you shall have complete control over state affairs, judiciary, financial, economic, and MUCH more" Zim responded.

'Tempting", they answered.

"If you do not tell Kragnor about our pact and stop giving him economical and military resources Zim shall make it happen. If they ask you why you stopped your part of the deal simply tell them that a pest problem has eaten all of your crops and the people are too famished to make armament. If you do that for Zim, Zim shall also offer you the protection of the Irken Armada. Capiche?" Zim asks.

"We have an agreement irken commander, said the governors. We shall poison the crown prince when he gets his morning tea with a very untraceable poison extracted from a flower that grows on the other side of the planet", they said.

"Excellent", Zim answered.

Sensing that the boy did not want to be in on this heinous plan, Zim locked Dib in the ship cabin.

Elsewhere on space

Lard Naar, leader of the Resisty and vortian scientist contemplated the words of his plutonian spy, Dante about the irken commander Zim and his plan to overthrow Kragnor and enslave his home planet, Vort. Again. Hmmm. Rumor has it he had a slave.

"Commander Lard Nar", his right-hand man answered, "we tried to detain them sir, but they are insistent."

"Who? Let them in!"

It was a little human girl followed by a very tall man with scythe-looking hair and a white lab coat. The man glared at them.

"Where is my brother?" Gaz asked angrily.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an edited, unfinished, old story of mine, which I intend to finish.


End file.
